Aug 18, 2010

they toil not

It's tattooed on my arm, so why doesn't it live in my heart?

I have food to eat.

I have clothes to wear.

I have friends and family and so much love.

Why doesn't it feel like enough? Why don't those things and those people feel like blessings? Why won't this wanting, this needing, this loneliness be quenched?

What is left undone? What is misunderstood?



What does it look like to rest? To trust that it doesn't matter that I'm not enough, that I don't have it all figured out?

How do I JUST LIVE in this place? No striving to make it better / easier / prettier. Just live. Just be. How do I stop trying when it's all I can think of to do?


Kim said...

girl. we are on the same page. praying for you. please do the same for me!

seems like we're in the same boat this week...and in reality, i struggle with the same things in just a different way when i'm in the states.

oh life. you are silly sometimes.

Haley said...

Thanks for the prayers! You are in mine, with a special prayer for a big fat salad that comes together quickly.

Sarah Asay said...

praying for you too. why do these things consume us so much? it's a relief to know that Jesus knew that these things would consume us, and that's why he told us-don't worry about it. but it's still so hard....

Alyssa said...

"We seldom notice how each day is a holy place
Where the eucharist of the ordinary happens,
Transforming our broken fragments
Into an eternal continuity that keeps us." John O'Donohue from To Bless the Space Between Us.

I am there with you Haley. What you long for is what our heart calls us to, completion and ultimate satisfaction as we lean into Christ and let go of our "to-do" lists and endless litany of expectations.