While the distance I'd hoped for between myself and the pop hasn't grown much, I have found myself examining my desire to pop, the surface of the table, and the shape of my own half rubber ball. The examination is infuriating and liberating. I have realized that a key part of this desire to pop and my frustration at the lack of pop, is based on where I live my life. I am living from my condition rather than my position. I am living as a slave who has yet to be set free, rather than a slave who has already been set free.
What this is is the transition of head knowledge to heart knowledge. So used to being held captive, I am afraid to run forward into freedom. All the shoving and pushing and pulling cannot make this head knowledge become heart knowledge any faster. Trust me, I've tried.
My inability to run, to live from my position, does not negate my position, and for that I am so very thankful.
- It is for freedom that I have been set free.
- The conversations that happen around our dinner table.
- The sound of rain on window panes.
- Good music by an almost local band.
- Wod. Fam. Choc. Sod.
- The "Time and Beyond Time" chapter of Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis.
- The question, "What if?"
- Struggling through big theological concepts with friends.
- Gift cards.
- Lady Gaga.