You know those tops that have dots or lines on top of them, and they make a geometric design as they spin round and round? That is my life right now. I'll be really honest: I LOVE IT. Life is moving forward at what feels like a breakneck pace. And instead of being terrified of the speed I am LOVING it. Each and every day as I sprint forward, hand in hand with my Guide, I find myself grinning from ear to ear, even as my heart is breaking and tears stream down my cheeks.
The strange thing is that I'm not surprised to find myself here. Perhaps it's because I didn't realize life was flying forward so quickly until we'd been moving like that for a bit. Perhaps it's because somewhere deep inside I knew my life was building to this point. I had a beautiful and rich three years in California, living close to the ocean, soaking up sweet, sweet time with framily. Just enjoying the lazy pace at which life [mostly] seemed to meander. And even as I meandered back to the Pacific NW it seemed that life would continue at a nice leisurely pace.
Little did I know that, just as I thought I was going to settle down into a nice comfy space, that was when I unknowingly slammed my foot on the gas. Somehow I managed to accelerate in a way that didn't shock or startle me at all, it didn't even mess up my hair. And yet here I am careening forward at this breakneck pace, smiling wide, tears streaming down my face, sometimes from the speed at which I am moving, other times because the things I am processing are painful and full of healing I have been longing for for longer than I could have imagined.
I don't know what is around the next corner, but I am ready. I have rested and learned all the things necessary for what is ahead. And I am ready.
I go back and forth between thinking what I am going to do is HUGE and thinking it is no big deal. Regardless of my current mood, tomorrow I will be running my very first EVER half-marathon. I am excited and nervous. My clothes are laid out and I am about to pin my bib on the tank top I'll be wearing tomorrow. Who knew I'd love running this much...not THIS girl, that's for sure!