The Justice Conference--Love in Community

I didn’t want to go to The Justice Conference. You can ask my roommates, I complained about it from the time I signed up until Multnomah asked me to write about it here on Deeper Church and said they’d comp my registration. So, you know, my attendance was motivated by a passion for a free ticket, not justice. Go me.



Before you go thinking I’m some horrible person who thinks injustice should be celebrated or that injustice is the cause for which we need to work, let me state very clearly I believe that if you are a Christian you are required to be passionate about and to work for God’s justice lived out here and now on earth. The problem I had with the Justice Conference was that I didn’t think a conference was the way to go about promoting justice. I didn’t want to sit around for two days and listen to people tell me how I wasn’t doing enough or how great all their accomplishments were and how great it made them feel about themselves. It was also a class assignment, which meant I didn’t even get to decide if I wanted to go. I just had to (Hashtag control issues).

But isn’t that the way we discover the injustices that infuriate us? Isn’t that the way we decide we must work to see God’s justice made real in a particular region of the world, or in a certain issue area? We don’t really decide that we want to work for justice, at least not at first. That issue area just grabs us and won’t let us go. God’s heart for His children grabs us and He will not let us go.

/ /

I attended both the pre-conference sessions here in Portland, and then watched the simulcast of the main conference. The pre-conference sessions in Portland were incredible. Each session was packed with amazing speakers, and each speaker shared the ways they were doing justice in Portland and throughout Oregon, and even a few other states as well.

I learned about The Cupcake Girls (more on them later) and their work to love and support women in the adult entertainment industry in both Las Vegas and Portland. I went to two different sessions on the foster care system in Oregon, learning about the challenges, heartbreak, love, and joy that come regardless of what role you play in the system. The Sexual Assault Resource Center (SARC)  session was all about their work to combat sexual assault against young adults, and the ways they seek to empower those same young adults. The day ended with a session on a Christian response to homosexuality, which isn’t as complicated as we try to make it.

These sessions were incredible. I have no doubt that the other twenty sessions I was unable to attend were equally amazing, that those presenters were equally passionate about seeing justice done in the name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, for the glory of God.

/ /

I spent Friday’s lunch break with Joy Hoover and Briana McDonald. We got burgers and we talked cupcakes, or rather The Cupcake Girls. It is an organization that was born when Joy, during a Las Vegas vacation with her husband, learned more about the adult entertainment industry. She felt like she had to do something, so the very next day, she walked into a Vegas strip club carrying a box of cupcakes, and began to talk to the women working there.

Fast forward three years, and that one box of cupcakes on a vacation in Vegas has turned into a non-profit that seeks to offer love, support, and the occasional cupcake to women in the adult entertainment world. They host spa days, bring cupcakes and flowers, throw baby and wedding showers, and simply love these women. Beyond that, they have support groups, offer medical and dental services, and even help women move if and when they decide they’re ready to leave. But the purpose, Joy and Bri pointed out to me, is not to convince the women they befriend to leave. The purpose is to love them, and to keep loving them.

It seems small. It seems like it’s not enough. For a fixer like me it seems like they’re lacking an end goal. But then Joy tells stories of the women she’s befriended, and I realize quickly that loving the women in the clubs and brothels they visit is a radical act. Just love. Love without expectation. Love that consistently shows up, whether it is with cupcakes, a visit to the doctor, a rose, or a listening ear. Love that follows through and says, “You are valuable simply because you exist.”

/ /

What encouraged me the most, what stuck out to me the most was the relational, community-oriented approach to justice that was advocated throughout the pre-conference and the main conference. There was a recognition that, while God inclines each of our hearts individually to different injustices, the most effective way to bring His justice into those places and situations is in community and into the communities. Not to be the rescuers, but to come in as bearers of the love and grace of God, lived out in the manner of Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, so that those experiencing poverty, slavery, incarceration, abuse, and any number of other injustices, might be empowered and not simply rescued.

Because I am not strong enough to rescue anyone. We are not strong enough to rescue all those who need rescuing. I cannot be trusted with the power it gives me to be seen as rescuer. We are not to be trusted with the power that comes with being the rescuer. And to offer rescue alone transfers power from the oppressor to the rescuers rather than to those who have been oppressed.

The only one trustworthy enough and strong enough to be the rescuer is the same one who already rescued me, who has rescued all those who believe in and confess Christ as Lord. Only God can rescue the oppressed. Only God can rescue us.

When we go out to worship God through our fight against the injustice that has so comfortably settled into every corner of the world, let us remember that it is God who rescues. Let us remember that God’s justice works differently. Let us remember that we are just as much in need of rescue as those to whom God has turned our hearts. Let our mission instead be love. Let our mission instead be to listen well and to learn from those who have been oppressed. Let our mission go forward with God always at the center of all we do. Let our mission be that the world would know the love of the Father through the face of the Son poured out by the Spirit.

Communion Is Not An Individual Exercise

This is the fifth post in a bi-weekly five part series. It is inspired by the book of 1 Corinthians and my studies of that book. Posts will have appeared here and on A Deeper Church. Read the previous posts in the series:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

They learned first the breaking of bread and the sharing of wine in Paul’s eighteen months with them. It was a symbol, a reminder, a representation of the Truth they had come to believe. It was entering into not just union with their Savior, but communion. A meeting. A joining together. The Spirit, the Son, and the Father reaching out to one another as hands reached out for bread and goblet.

And though bread and wine were staples in their homes, they did not mean the same when digested and imbibed alone, apart from one another. Bread and wine commingled and traveled down the esophagus, melding together in the stomach. But there was no communion. It was just a meal. But together, in those early days, together it was the Body of Christ come alive in their midst. As the Spirit of God indwelt each of them individually, the Spirit reached out to itself from with each of them. Communing with itself as they communed with one another.

At that table, with bread and wine and a God who had saved them, who was saving them, who would save them still, they entered into communion. Yes, through the sharing of bread and wine because his body was broken and his blood was shed. And they entered into communion because they were community. They were the Body he left on earth to point others to the body that hung on a cross. To the body that death could not hold. To the body that destroyed death forever for all who would believe and put their faith in him.

And so they communed.

But when bread and wine become food and drink, and tallies are kept of who brought what and if they brought the best wine and the tastiest bread, or simply what they could afford, communion withers and the table becomes a place of judgment. When bread and wine and body broke and blood shed become tools for division, there is no communion.

As we read that they sat and ate and drank, not sharing but withholding, not in communion but in disunion, dividing, not abiding, I cannot help but think of our own communion tables. Of goblets and loaves, of plastic cups in gilded trays and paper-like wafers that stick to tongues as words of reminder, words of communion, words of body broken and blood shed are poured out over us, calling us together. Do you feel it? Can you hear it? That longing of the Spirit within you crying out for Itself, crying out to Itself through walls we have erected to keep us from those who do not commune as we do? Or simply the longing to commune beside another body as we the Body take and break and eat and drink as individuals?

Spirit cries out to Spirit as we attempt to commune with the Savior alone.

But we were never meant to commune alone. Unity with one’s self is simply an individual. One. One person. Alone.

But if we are to be like him, to commune with him, then we must commune with each other. We must be united with him, in him, and with one another.

Because his body was broken, yes. His body was broken so that this body of broken sinners turned redeemed saints might never have to experience that breaking.

Let us break bread and drink wine.

Let it remind us of the breaking of his body so that this Body might never be broken.

How does your church take communion?
Do you take communion alone or with others?
How do you practice communion with the Body?

that's my bride you're talking about

“I mean I believe in Jesus, but I don’t really like the term Christian.” I say, distancing myself verbally from what I’ve come to see as a broken institution. Trying to distance myself in my own mind from the Christians I disagree with as much as I am trying to get the person I am talking with to understand that I am not like THOSE Christians.

Afraid of what others will think when they hear that I am a Christian…will they even listen, or just politely nod their heads? Will I be lumped in with some stereotype? Will they remember churches they’ve attended and then left because they felt rejected, judged, or manipulated and think of me?

You can read the rest of "That's My Bride You're Talking About" over at Deeper Story.

worth reading 06.10.11

People ask me why I tweet, and while there are a lot of different reasons, one of the main ones is because of all the different blogs and bloggers I've discovered. There is plenty of junk on the internet, and there are plenty of ways to waste my time. But there are also places worth stopping by on a regular basis because the truth that lives there is inspiring.

Here are a few of the posts that have inspired me this week. If you have a second [c'mon, you know you do], check out any one of these. And if you have more than a second, check them all out.

1. I loved Joy's fresh perspective on what it means for us to guard our hearts. As a person who loves to love big, it's been a concept I've struggled with. I think she unpacks it with grace, truth, and humor. As per usual.
2. One of my favorite people, first on Twitter, then on Tumblr, then as a blogger, and now as a dear friend is Lauren. Her friendship is a treasure, and her wisdom blows me away on a regular basis. Her post on pre-marital sex is FANTASTIC. Please, please, please, man or woman, married or single, please read it.
3. I also loved Lauren's post on rest. It is simple, and it is true.
4. I was drying my hair this morning, praying about my own relationship history. I asked God for help understanding what healing looks like and what it looks like to honor Him within romantic relationships. And then I found this post by John Piper, entitled "No More Scarlet Letters." I love the way God answers prayer.
5. And last, but certainly not least, there is Miss Ally Spotts. She is delightful and insightful. Her post on how to deal with a difficult break up was full of wisdom.

So there you have them: my must reads of the past few weeks. I hope they encourage and challenge you as they have done to me.

thankful on a thursday—good giver of gifts

Okay. I get that part of the point of engaging in this weekly exercise of listing things I am thankful for is to remind me of how many reasons I have to be thankful. Since I've been a bit ridiculously absent on this blog for the last month or so, I haven't been engaging in this as much.

Then I was at home community on Sunday, and as we were going around sharing how our weeks went, what we wanted prayer for, and the ways God's been answering our prayers, I was bowled over by how faithful the Lord is. As we went around the room each person's words reflected God's work in our lives. It was incredibly encouraging.

And friends, I needed that.

So much.

I know that He is faithful. But sometimes my faith falters and I need more than just the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of what I do not see. I got that on Sunday in heaps and piles.

Five days later I am still reveling in His provision.

1. The people in my home community.
2. Running.
3. FOUR new leaders for the high school group. Such a HUGE answer to prayer. Seriously.
4. Watching my high schoolers graduate. I am so proud of the young women they are.
5. Summer in Portland.
6. Friends who remind me of what is best for me, even when it is hard.
7. A new crew of eighth graders moving up into the high school group. I cannot wait to discover who they are.
8. Better relationships with my coworkers. Some of these have been a very long time coming.
9. My friends. Seriously. How on earth did I get so blessed?
10. The truth that my value comes from being loved by a God as faithful and unchanging as Yahweh.

thankful on a thursday

I am foregoing the introduction of today's Thankful on a Thursday because friends, I am exhausted. My entire body aches not just for sleep, but for rest. So here is my wee list of gratitude, although this week I feel I have failed miserably to share just how very thankful I am because this week has been full of His goodness in more ways than I can count.

1. A week full of sunshine.
2. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty. There is nothing my God cannot do.
3. I have the very best friends. I don't know what I would do without them.
4. Deer Hunter. Not the movie, but the game we played at youth group.
5. A high school production of Aida. The awkward ways those kids with only one line deliver that one line and the AMAZING voice of the girl who played Aida. Wow.
6. How could you not be thankful when movies like this exist?
7. The overwhelming sense of His faithfulness and His goodness, even in the midst of trial, that I have had all week long.
8. Dinner with mom at Mother's.
9. Johnny Cash. You sir were exactly what these ears needed to hear.*
10. Holy Week and the anticipation of the resurrection.
11. Honesty. Even when it is hard.

Two fantastic things about this song. First, we sang this in church on Sunday. Second, that's Scott and Seth Avett you hear playing the banjo and stomp their feet in the background.

He is so good

We sang this song in church yesterday. I love it.

just thankful

I get this reminder every Wednesday afternoon that it's time to write my Thankful on a Thursday post. But here's the deal: I feel guilty just putting up a list of things I'm thankful for. I feel like I should be writing some sort of introduction, some preface to gratitude. Today I say, "No more!" I would rather put up a list, even if it lack explanation, and enter into the exercise of being thankful than skip it altogether.

From here on there will be a list, and sometimes maybe a little more.

With no further adieu...

1. Homemade scrabble tiles, the wonderful man who made them with me, and his indulgence of my obsession with speed scrabble.
2. My first homemade layer cake, a practice for my friend's birthday party next week.
3. Spring cleaning with my roommate.
4. An unbelievably gorgeous, sunny day that necessitated SUNGLASSES on my walk to work this morning.
5. A chance to meet with, and be encouraged by, other leaders at my church.
6. Friendships. The new ones and the old ones. How on earth did I get so blessed?
7. A job that pays me even when I am home sick.
8. The new life my friends are bringing into this world.
9. A weekend at the coast with my high schoolers. I never cease to be amazed at how much joy they bring into my life.
10. Sharing Sleepy Monk Coffee with my high schoolers and two of my favorite leaders.
11. The INCREDIBLE way my God answers prayer. He knows just what we need, when we need it, and exactly how to answer us.

blogging over at dailymile

Today I'm blogging over at dailymile. I wrote a post for their "This is How We Succeed" series. It looks at how the dailymile community has helped people overcome obstacles in life and in training. My post is all about my experience training for and running the Portland Marathon.

Ch-ch-ch-check it out.

guest post: is this friendship?

My dear friend Kathy and I were talking the other day about forgiveness. She shared a situation with me that she was working through and asked if she could do a guest post for my blog. Without hesitation I answered, "yes!" I hope you enjoy her honest words as she struggles through one of the hardest situations we encounter in friendship: broken trust.

***

"I was but a child then, although I didn't know it yet. I suspect I'm still a child now. Although we grow in intellect, we're learning that we must reflect on the mistakes that we have made. Though we make them again and again. And as time goes by, it seems in fact the more we question why, the less the world has interest to reply.

We're always grabbing hold of things, pretending that we're knowing things that none of us has power to command. Well I knew that I loved you once, and what good did that bring to us? As time goes by, it seems in fact the more we question why, the less the world has interest to reply.

What of all my questions then, are they a form of insolence? For I am but a baby in my mother's ancient arms. And if the more I question why, the less the world will give me in reply, and I'll learn to stop my questions by and by."

Do you know what it's like to lose a friend? I do. People say it's like a break up, but it's not. It's much worse. To me, a friend is someone I love, respect, admire, and am excited about. I want to share everything with my friend because I want to know what sort of genius answers she'll have in response. I trust her with my troubles, and I share my stories with her. I listen to her, and I keep her secrets. We protect each other.

When you lose a friend, you lose some ability to see the good in people, and to trust them. Breaking up with a boyfriend, that's easy. It's OK to blame everything on him. Lost your keys? Blame the ex. Stubbed your toe? Blame the ex. Gain a couple LBs? Blame it on the ex! It's easy and, let's face it, it feels Good with a capital "G"!

When you lose a friend there's a part of you that is reluctant to trust the next friend. The instinctual urge to protect yourself kicks into high gear. There are feelings of betrayal mixed with shame, distrust, confusion, sadness, and it hurts. You start to question the motives of your other friends and whether or not they're capable of hurting you in the same way. You wonder if there's a way for you to work it out, maybe even build up a stronger foundation, but you're still too tired from the energy you're using to hate her that it doesn't seem like an option.

Recently I had a friend betray me in one of the worst ways. She told stories about me behind my back; bad ones, filled with lies, secrets, and all the things in between that I thought friends weren't capable of saying about each other.

So today I'm struggling with the question of whether or not to forgive her. I know that forgiveness is a fool's game, and there's potential for her to hurt me in more extreme ways in the future. At this point, I don't know if I want to be a fool, but I do know that my life (at least for the time being) is much happier without her in it.

remember you are dust

The sound of rain is heavy on the roof as my pastor reads thoughts on life and death. I sit in the increasingly familiar magenta pew, sandwiched between my students, wishing I didn’t feel so fragile. Wishing I hadn’t spent the past day and a half wrestling with deep, old wounds that have resurfaced. Open and sore, rather than the shiny pink I would have assured you they were two days ago.

I look up from my lap, straining to hear the words read from the front. Thinking that if I just listen hard enough maybe I can wade through this issue and focus on my return to dust and dirt instead of the rawness of my wound...

You can find the rest of this post at A Deeper Story.

thankful on a thursday—unzipped

If you asked me about the past three years I would tell you about pain, process, healing and redemption. I would show you my kitchen table, and the two chairs that sit there. I would tell you about gut wrenching sobs, tears spilling onto my lap, cheeks that burned with shame and embarrassment, and the exhaustion that would set in night after night. I would tell you about my roommate, a woman with more patience and the incredible gift of walking alongside you RIGHT, EXACTLY where you are without fear or judgment. I would tell you about anger, fear, resentment and jealousy. I would unzip the center of my chest and show you the scars on my heart.

This one is from June 2009. It took all of June some of July, to heal. If you look closely you can see it's really a series of smaller scars that melded into one.

This one was from a night in October. It was a old wound that had to be reopened so it could heal properly. It took me so long to admit that it needed to heal differently.

This one that seems as though it should have severed my heart in two? That's an old one, that's a daddy one. I think at one time my heart may have actually been in two separate pieces, but it is back together now, and beating stronger than ever.

I would tell you about healing. I would tell you the freedom of collapsing on the floor in tears crying out to Jesus, knowing that there is NOTHING in this life that I need more than I need Him. I would tell you about nights when tears were cried in joy and celebration. I would tell you about the lightness and laughter after the healing power of the Holy Spirit washed over me. I would tell you about the time in the shower I couldn't stop laughing because of the joke God told me.

I would tell you that these last three years have been some of the most painful, most challenging, most beautiful, most incredible years of my life. I would tell you that I have never felt more like myself and that I have never loved myself more. Not because I am better, but because I am broken and made new. I would zip myself up, look you in the eye and say, "I'm so thankful I don't have to hide these scars from you."

I am so thankful...

1. Brokenness and the way He enters into every corner of it, shining His healing light and love.
2. Friendships forged in times of trial.
3. Snow, even if only for the morning.
4. Snowboarding for the first time in THREE YEARS.
5. First rail slides and my incredible cheerleader, The Mustachioed Woodsman, who high fived me each time I did one.
6. A snowy weekend away with the youth group leaders in Glenwood.
7. All day at the cabin with just The Mustachioed Woodsman, his dog and me.
8. A new friendship full of love, joy and truth.
9. The process of making pie crust.
10. Laughter.
11. An outdoor fireplace and a cup of french press.
12. The same God who placed the stars in the heavens knows MY name, and knows exactly how to love me, and LOVES me.

thankful on a thursday friday—short & sweet

Okay. I had plans, y'all. I had plans to write a TOAT post yesterday. But here's the deal. I'm still a child when it comes to paying for internet [translation: I've been using someone's unprotected wireless for eighteen months awhile, and that little signal has disappeared. Lack of internet signal plus homemade pasta making with roommie plus laundry plus packing for a weekend in Vegas equals no timely TOAT post. Lo siento mis amigos. So here's my post, a day late.

This Thursday Friday I am so very thankful...

1. For a weekend in Vegas with my Dad.
2. For lunch in the park with good friends.
3. For the way He can redeem ANYTHING.
4. For new friends who desire to speak truth.
5. For this post and for the truth of her words, "the more your heart breaks, the more of it becomes God's heart."
6. For the way we are created to live in authentic community, that it is written into our DNA.
7. For the way He knows me more intimately than anyone, and knows just how I am best loved, disciplined and refined.
8. For breakfast with my parents and The Mustachioed Woodsman.
9. For this community He's given me. I don't know how I ended up here, but I am so thankful for His placing me here.
10. For a day in the kitchen baking love into pie for dear friends.

thankful on a thursday—people

A father daughter date. That's what it was. We sat across from each other at a little cafe, my latte warming my hands, his green tea still too hot to drink. "I feel like I'm in a rut," I say, "like I've gotten into this routine and I don't know how to get out. It's comfortable and safe, but what I want is adventure." It is freeing to say these words. It is healing to confess them to him, to one of the fathers I've been blessed with, to have him listen, to have him offer words of kind intention. "What about teaching English somewhere?" He asks, "you said you'd always wanted to see Japan."

I consider his words, consider uprooting myself from this place–from these people, and it hurts. "I don't think moving is the answer," I reply. "It would feel like running, and there is nothing here I want to run from."

Weeks later I am on the phone with a friend, recounting this conversation to her. "You can run or you can dig in," she says, "those are the two ways to get out of a rut." Her words are true, and they confirm the direction I have chosen to go. Not that it was a hard decision.

I choose to stay. I choose to dig in. I choose to invest in the people, in the relationships that seem to multiply weekly. How did I get here? How am I suddenly surrounded by so many incredible people? Though if I consider consider the road I've walked, these people have not appeared so suddenly. Looking back I see how many different intersections I've crossed, the ways our paths have joined and continued on in the same direction. I wonder if this is how Paul felt when he would sit down to write his letters to the churches, thanking God for them and for their faithfulness. What a gift it is to be surrounded by these people, to love and be loved by these people, to serve with these people, to simply encounter them, even if only briefly.

This week, I am so very thankful...

1. For the high school leaders and the way they love the students.
2. For the high school students, for their beautiful hearts and the ways they struggle to love and serve the Lord.
3. For friends, new and old.
4. For a run with Sarah around a beautiful lake, and for all the conversations we had.
5. For an upcoming visit to see my Dad.
6. For how different my relationship with my Dad is only a year later.
7. For all the different fathers my Father has blessed me with.
8. For a place to share my stories and my mess.
9. For getting a card in the mail from Kath.
10. For the most wonderful weekend with Erica, and all the subsequent phone calls, emails and texts.
11. For the way he holds my hand.

expelling thoughts

I'm so used to sitting down and just cranking out my thoughts. I wait until they're seconds away from overwhelming me, and then quickly expel them on the page or screen in front of me.

But not now. Not with this. It is a combination of intimidation, a desire to take this seriously, fear of failure, and fear of engaging in real conversations.

So I sit and stare at screens and pages. A smattering of semi-connected thoughts, waiting for me to do something with them, to elaborate, to connect the dots.

I know my story. I know what I want to tell you. It's just never been this hard before.

thankful on a thursday—be still

When I can't seem to keep my head on straight, He reminds me to be still.

When dreams for the future vanish like the sun in the midst of an autumn rainstorm in Portland, He reminds me to be still.

When I am so tired I can barely drag myself out of bed, He reminds me to be still.

When nothing makes sense, He reminds me to be still.

He reminds me to be still and know that He is God. When He reminds me to know that He is God, I am reminded of His goodness. I am reminded of His promises. I am reminded of His jealous love for me. I am reminded of the lengths to which He has gone to love me, to intercede for me, to ensure that He is with me always.

In that stillness, if I listen, I swear I can hear Him breathe. I swear I can feel the warmth of His breath on the top of my head, whispering the love and kisses of a Father to His daughter. "Trust me. Abide in me. I love you, and My love is more than enough for all that you are going through."

1. The reminder to slow down, to be still and KNOW.
2. I have the best friends.
3. Bourbon and ginger ale.
4. Honesty in the midst of the messiness of life.
5. The middle, even though it's hard to live there.
6. My lovely cousinsister Katie has moved back to the Pacific Northwest.
7. I am not the same person I was a year ago, or even six months ago.
8. Warm coffee on rainy autumn days.
9. He who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it
10. This time to stop and be thankful each week, and my awesome friend, Nish, who started it all.

save blue like jazz

Blue Like Jazz. As a movie. I don't know about you, but reading this book had a real impact on my faith. It was incredible to be invited into another person's faith journey, to see it unfold, to learn from it, to be challenged in my own faith journey as a result. I read this book in the fall of 2005, I specifically remember an afternoon when my friend Hunter and I laid on a bench in the middle of a circle of redwoods reading for hours.

A few years ago I heard they were going to make Blue Like Jazz into a movie. Then a little over a month ago, Don announced that there wasn't enough funding to make the movie, so the project would be on hold indefinitely. LAME. And then...then this happened:


Your chance to help fund Blue Like Jazz, to participate in history, ends tonight at 9:00PM. Do you have $10 to spare?

thankful on a thursday—His bride

These past few weeks have been amazing, so full of joy, love and excitement. These past few days have been challenging, full of doubt, fear and worry. In the midst of this doubt, fear and worry, He reminds time and time again that I am His. He reminds me that He is GOOD, that He is TRUSTWORTHY, that He is FAITHFUL.

I bathe my heart in the Truth of His Word. I soak in the richness of His promises. I drink deeply from the well that NEVER runs dry. I look up, an unworthy bride, into the eyes of the most faithful and loving Bridegroom I could ever hope to wed. He pulls back my veil and cups my face with His hands as His love washes over me with such force that, were He not holding me, I would surely be knocked backward.

I don't understand how all of this works. I don't have a map. I don't know where He is leading me. But I want to be led on HIS path, on the journey HE has prepared. I am not the one setting the course. I am the one along for the ride. And it's risky. There are no guarantees, but I trust Him. I trust that my Bridegroom will lead me safely through whatever we encounter. I trust that He will never let me go.

Today, friends, I am so very thankful.

1. His love NEVER fails.
2. The willing ears and reassuring words of good friends.
3. The way the sunrise never fails to remind me that His mercies are new every morning.
4. A week of autumn sunshine.
5. One last day without rain means one last day in sandals.
6. New races on the calendar and a friend to train with.
7. He is always interceding for me.
8. One way or another, the risk is worth it.
9. Waking up with a peaceful spirit two days in a row.
10. Watching my high schoolers act out Ruth 3 last night was priceless.

marathon morning

It's 5:23AM. Coffee's made, breakfast is warming up, and I think I'm actually ready to do this thing. Kath came in about 10 minutes ago and asked how I was feeling. I said, "I think it's a good thing I have no idea what I'm getting myself into." The folks are picking me up in about 25 minutes, and then it's off to the start.

thankful on a thursday friday—free

He wants me to be free. He wants me to live in freedom. He wants me to rest with Him, trusting, knowing that with Him all things are possible, with Him there is nothing worth worrying about.

His freedom is like nothing else I know—and there is so much more to learn than the little I know of His freedom. His rest is imbued with a peace that passes all understanding.

I rest, knowing that He is the one steering this ship. I rest, knowing that I am His beloved and that nothing, literally nothing, can separate me from His endless Love.

I rest at His side, curious about the course He has plotted for our journey, trusting Him to guide us there safely. If the waters grow choppy, or a storm blows in, at His side, under His protection is exactly where I want to be. It is in this place, by His side, that I am free.

1. This peace that fills me, washes away my anxiety, and reminds me of His goodness.
2. Kathy is running the marathon with me on Sunday!
3. The encouragement of friends and family as I get closer and closer to my first 26.2.
4. Skype date with Erica Sue, that was one of the best hours ever!
5. Seeing the beautiful Miss Emrie Kent, all sleepy and silly.
6. New, soft merino yarn, waiting to be knitted into a slouchy beanie.
7. God's timing is perfect.
8. My Portland peeps.
9. An evening walk in the Pearl, complete with beautiful sunset.
10. I am my beloved's and He is mine.