Failure

I am not one who fails easily.

I am not one to take failure lightly or gracefully.

Failure, as far as I am concerned, is not an option.

. . . . . . .

“This is a place where you will fail. Consistently, daily, and this is a place where it is safe to do that.”

This is how she starts our first day of class. This is how she introduces me to what will quickly become my favorite class, my favorite subject, my desired continued area of study.

I feel my stomach tighten as she mentions failure. My mouth fights to grimace or smile, I cannot decide which.

“Failure?” I think. “I don’t really do failure.”

But in this classroom, surrounded by these fellow students I will come to welcome the freedom of failure.

I'm over at A Deeper Church today writing about failure. Join me over there to read the rest of the post.

unique and unrepeatable

Each one of us is a unique and unrepeatable miracle of God’s grace.

But I do not always feel like a unique and unrepeatable miracle of God’s grace. More often I behave as though God puts up with me because He made me and now He is stuck with me.

I'm posting over at Deeper Story today. You can read the rest of the post there.

haters gonna hate

It is true. There are people in our lives who love to hate. They love to hate what we love. They love to hate what we say. They love to hate what we do. And most of all they love to hate who we are. They love to hate the expression of Truth because the lies still bind them in darkness.

Let us not be haters. Let us be lovers. Let us be lovers who love the haters. Let us be lovers who feast only on Truth. Let us be lovers of the One True God who speaks only Truth because He cannot abide the lies of sin and death.

Let us love so big, so deep, and so wide that the haters can no longer deny the glory and goodness of the Truth. Let us love so big, so deep, and so wide that the haters become lovers, transformed by blood soaked Truth and Grace.

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remember you are dust

Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

How easy it is to forget we are dust.

How easy it is, with warm bodies, full stomachs, and money in the bank to forget we are dust.

How easy it is to mindlessly nod along as the pastor exhorts us to remember our position were it not for Christ’s intercession.

How easy it is to go through the motions of acknowledging sin and accepting grace without actually doing so.

If it is difficult to remember we are dust, and to dust we shall return, then it becomes exponentially more difficult when, after the sign of the cross is brushed onto foreheads in ashes and oil, we are told to turn from sin and be faithful to Jesus.

I'm posting over at Deeper Story today, head over there to read the rest of this post.

a pile of stones

I'm writing over at Deeper Story today on judgement, something that I am far to quick to pass. Here's a bit of what I've written...

A pile of stones at my feet. The accused are lined up before me.

I feel the pores of the rock against my palm. It is heavy in my hand. Weighty.

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to cast a stone.”

I grip the rock tighter, running through a mental checklist of the sins of the accused.

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to cast a stone.”

“They need to learn,” I think, words ripping through my brain as the sweat from my palms seeps into the crevices of the rock. “How else will they know they can never measure up?”

Read the rest of this post over at Deeper Story.

fabulous friday video goodness: the david video

Rather than a music video, today I have a thought provoking, beautiful video.



After watching, take a second to read about the making of the video and visit the illustrator, Annie Ludes's blog.

what is enough?

Twenty-nine students, seven leaders, sleeping bags, pillows, sleeping pads, and tents for all, plus food, games, and firewood. All crammed into five cars and one small U-Haul trailer. Seasoned graduated seniors stood in a group sharing playlists and games they’d brought for the car ride. Incoming freshmen scampered back and forth between parents, each other, and leaders asking various forms of the same question, “when are we leaving?”

Fully packed and ready to go, I went back and forth between church buildings and the car I would drive all week. Shoes and sandals, shorts, sunscreen, bathing suit, more shorts, a sweatshirt, and more sunscreen? Check. My Bible, my journal, a pen, my pillow, and my sleeping pad? Check. Snacks, a water bottle, and directions to the campground? Check.

Feeling one hundred percent prepared as we sat around the campfire that first night my friend, mentor, and the pastor to students looked at each of us and asked, “What is the point? Why are you here?”

I'm posting over at Deeper Story today, and you can read the rest of the post there.

worth reading 08.12.11

Amid the whirlwind of returning from vacation, preparing to leave for our annual high school youth group rafting trip, catching up with friends, and running around like a chicken with her head cut off because I get to give Lauren a REAL hug TODAY, I managed to read through some of the blogs I missed while on vacation. People may say that summer is a time full of lazy days, but I think the authors on this week's list missed the memo about taking it easy. Holy smokes...

1. A few of the bloggers whose words I read and hearts I love had the opportunity to go to Bolivia with World Vision. Their posts have been amazing. Nish's re-entry post hit me hard as I imagined her in the supermarket in southern Oregon overwhelmed by choice, seeing the world through a new filter. I watched tearfully through Joy's eyes as she learned Wilfrem's story and the difference his World Vision sponsor made in his life and the life of his family. And my heart echos Elizabeth Esther's cries, Father forgive me for I did not know.
2. I have the privilege of being friends with AND doing ministry with this first amazing woman. She has a beautiful, honest heart for the Lord, and isn't afraid of loving big in the midst of mess. Her thoughts on grace are lovely and soul soothing. As an added bonus, Lindsay is also a major threat on the ultimate frisbee field.
3. I read Jon Acuff's Serious Wednesday Post on the the search for joy. His words have me considering what things I have used / am using as joy props. "Because I already have a savior. That role has been filled."
4. As I've been packing for five days in hot, sunny, beautiful southern Oregon, I come back to the question of the appropriateness of what I'll be wearing. I loved the conversation Ally started earlier this week, and her follow up post. It is a hard topic, and one that both frustrates and challenges me. Read what she has to say, and add your thoughts to the discussion.
5. Alright. Preston Yancey is killing it. Again. Dude's bombing around the UK and still finds time to speak truth into darkness. He wrote a guest post for the Good Women Project about what a woman's role is in a man's fight against porn. My dear sisters, be encouraged, because "pornography has nothing to do with the real, present woman in the equation." My dear brothers you "have a Savior. The only way a man overcomes pornography is by wrestling through it with Jesus." Be encouraged, your Savior fights for you.
6. After months of traveling and a love that has taken her across the country, Lauren processes her Los Angeles induced identity crisis. More than who you think you should be, more than who you think you are, who does God say you are?
7. Holy. Smokes. This post ROCKED ME. As I cut and paste the link into this post I am sitting at my desk asking myself, and really asking God, why I don't have certain things. "The question is: how can I glorify God with what I do have? Not, how can I get what I want, but how can I enhance God's reputation as a great king by what I do with what he gave me?" Lord, let this be my heart.
8. Forgiveness. Not for myself, but for others. This post of Joy's spoke hard Truth to my heart this week. "When I can forgive my persecutors and desire for God to forgive them without giving them their due…then I have truly forgiven." WHAT? Fo' realz this is good stuff.
9. While Joy was gallivanting about England, her friend Erin put together a guest post for her. As I read it I thought, "oh my heart, I know exactly how you feel," while I was reminded that TRUST is what He asks of me, and He is worthy of my trust. All the time. Always.

looking up

It's a little later than I like to wake up in the morning, but I can't seem to stop hitting snooze. I know there's ground coffee waiting for boiling water in the french press, and dark wooden table beckoning me to come and sit. I choose five more minutes, and as I close my eyes I think, "but you were going to actually get up and read this morning."

My eyes open, my feet on the old wooden floors beneath me, I shuffle to the kitchen, boiling water, setting lunch out, returning to my room to check Facebook and my email. My eyes land on the stack of books by my bed as I pull the covers up and arrange the pillows, "you're up, why aren't you reading?"

Coffee pressed, preheated mug full of hot french press, I climb onto my bed pulling my Bible and a small devotional into my lap. Turning to today's date, I read the first sentence and I see my Father running out to meet me after what feels like such a long absence.

"Hope is a golden cord connecting you to heaven. This cord helps you hold your head up high, even when multiple trials are buffeting you. I never leave your side, and I never let go of your hand. But without the cord of hope your head may slump and your feet may shuffle as you journey uphill with me." [Jesus Calling]

"Father," I think, tears stinging my eyes, "how did you know?" Of course He knows, He has walked each shuffled step as I have taken my eyes of the destination and focused instead on the difficult terrain beneath my feet. With the reminder of hope fresh in my ears, I breath deeply, and choose to look up, choose to engage with hope, even though it feels a bit foolish. Because I am tired of looking down. Because I am tired of trying to avoid His ever present hope. Because I am called to hope, and I have the best reason to hope. Because I am promised that He came to give me to live life to the full.

worth reading 06.10.11

People ask me why I tweet, and while there are a lot of different reasons, one of the main ones is because of all the different blogs and bloggers I've discovered. There is plenty of junk on the internet, and there are plenty of ways to waste my time. But there are also places worth stopping by on a regular basis because the truth that lives there is inspiring.

Here are a few of the posts that have inspired me this week. If you have a second [c'mon, you know you do], check out any one of these. And if you have more than a second, check them all out.

1. I loved Joy's fresh perspective on what it means for us to guard our hearts. As a person who loves to love big, it's been a concept I've struggled with. I think she unpacks it with grace, truth, and humor. As per usual.
2. One of my favorite people, first on Twitter, then on Tumblr, then as a blogger, and now as a dear friend is Lauren. Her friendship is a treasure, and her wisdom blows me away on a regular basis. Her post on pre-marital sex is FANTASTIC. Please, please, please, man or woman, married or single, please read it.
3. I also loved Lauren's post on rest. It is simple, and it is true.
4. I was drying my hair this morning, praying about my own relationship history. I asked God for help understanding what healing looks like and what it looks like to honor Him within romantic relationships. And then I found this post by John Piper, entitled "No More Scarlet Letters." I love the way God answers prayer.
5. And last, but certainly not least, there is Miss Ally Spotts. She is delightful and insightful. Her post on how to deal with a difficult break up was full of wisdom.

So there you have them: my must reads of the past few weeks. I hope they encourage and challenge you as they have done to me.

you are valuable

It is a process, this becoming. Becoming what. Becoming who. Becoming all we were ever intended to be. Becoming whole. Shedding layers of falsehood in order to pair down and simply yourself.

Be yourself as you were always intended to be. No worldly bells and whistles. Just you.

Head over to A Deeper Story to read the rest of this post.

guest post: good friday

I'm posting today over on my church's women's ministry blog, Imago Dei Women. It is a reflection on the separation between Jesus and God that we enter into on Good Friday. It has been interesting, even after writing it, to take time and consider that separation and what that sacrifice means for me, for us, as Christ followers.